The Brown & White

Who can forget that final, humid night of summer before freshman year?

I had been waiting years for that moment - to break free of my parents and live by my own accord, to answer to no one and enjoy all those prestigious things that come without a curfew. But the way that lazy summer slipped past was alarming.

One week I was bicycling to graduation parties and bumming on the beach and the next I was learning to do my own laundry and balance a bank account. There I sat with my three best friends, unable to comprehend that our "glory days" were over. Yes, I'm a sap.

I will admit that my friends and I own and actually mail each other a shared sweatshirt á la Ann Brashares' "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Yes, we have the same sort of sleepovers one would have in second grade. Yes, I call my friends' parents "Mom" and "Dad," and yes, we do everything, including sitting at the kitchen counter with absolutely nothing to do, as a unit.

So when that night snuck up on us, it was a little more troubling than I predicted.

Three years later, we are still best friends.

During summer and winter break, we revert to our high school selves and forget that anything has changed, that we have other close friends and that we struggle to keep in touch during the school year.

Three years later, I am a completely different person in a completely different place.

Inevitably, distance makes people grow. Freshmen, I know you are reading this and thinking about your "best friends for life," dismissing the notion that your perfectly ideal clique could ever falter.

I've been there. But it's immature, and sad, to think that you or your friends won't become different people in the course of a month, a year or college.

And it's not just freshmen. All of us become entrenched in our own circle of friends, and it's easy to fall into that same high school-esque rut of all-consuming, blinding friendship, at the expense of other relationships waiting to be formed.

I have known the people I consider my best friends at Lehigh for less than two years. There are some that I have known for less than four months. All of this is testament to the fact that we are still growing, changing and evolving.

Some see this as flighty or disloyal, but I think it is natural. You cannot predict who you will be next year, let alone next semester. Anything can make you fall into or out of a friendship, despite the truest of intentions.

While it is frightening to think that if I didn't take a particular class or show up at a certain party I would not know some of my best friends, I look back and see how easy it was to find new friends after high school. Although I can't imagine my life without the relationships I have already created, there could have been any combination of friendships that worked out.

This is good news for those who are still searching. Whether we admit it or not, many of us are doing just that, perhaps even subconsciously. Yes, we all have our best friends, but look how far we've come since high school. Wouldn't finding something else be just as easy?

The fact that this "core" of our lives can be transformed in less than a year is perhaps the best indicator that it is destined to change.

This weekend will be the first time many freshmen return home to see their friends. For others, the trips back and forth have become routine. Yet, I think all will agree that there is a definite disparity, neither good nor bad, that exists between our relationships here and there.

While our friendships at home have been built on years of playdates, sleepovers, and growing up as neighbors and classmates, our friendships here at Lehigh have somehow gotten just as strong in a fraction of the time.

But remember, I am a sap. No matter how far and wide I find friends or how many relationships I forge or forget in the next few turbulent years, I will still be checking my mailbox next week for the traveling sweatshirt.